it's definitely the heat..

02/10/13

You have stumbled across a very emotional blog, please leave if you don't want to drown. I don't really know what encouraged it. Maybe the heat, maybe lack of sleep, maybe my iTunes list.

I feel like someone has pushed the fastforward button on my life and I can't collect myself for one second to push pause. I'm slowly learning to go with the flow, I'll catch up eventually.

Things are changing. Everything is changing. My surroundings, my friends, my future, even myself. Flying to South Africa was the opportunity for new beginnings. Before the start of something better, usually comes the end of something good. I thought after this year of changes and broadening horizons I would return home., home would be home and everything would be normal. That's not the case any more, maybe it never was. Home has changed too. Maybe it's for the better and maybe it's just a rock in the road.

I don't have my familiar  home comforts to return to any more. Not my pretty little bedroom or my garden or even my chickens with their ridiculous personalities and irritating squawking. Not my best friend around the corner or the bliss of knowing the rest of my family are only a walk away. I'll be returning to a new, unfamiliar home. But that's okay. I've gotten over the initial shock, I'm almost looking forward to the change. My mum's first words around the situation were "Now, don't have a hairy fit...but..."

I've been stronger than I imagined I could be in South Africa. I've faced culture shock and some complicated situations but I'm yet to face the fear of homesickness. I've let go of what I thought was important and it's given me the freedom to move on without clinging onto the past. I'm trying to take everything in my stride. I am so happy here, happier than i've been. South Africa consumes me, I want to learn as much as I can in my time here. I've experienced so much in my short time here, It makes me so happy to know I've still got so much time left.

Before I got here, I worried that a year was too long. Now I think it's not long enough. It's strange how your views can change on the grand scale of things when you get here. 

Christmas is only three months away and It scares me. People have always said time flies by after Christmas. Decorations are now for sale in the local supermarket.. I'm making the most of my time here, living life in the moment. I've asked to help out with art, drumming and horse-riding for the children. I'm also hoping to work in the local Township, Klipheuwel.

At the same time, I can't help but feel excited for Christmas. I miss my Project Trust friends that are spread throughout South Africa. It was nice seeing Diarmid and Kieran in Plettenburg. They were something familiar who understand what it's like to be here, yet they have a thousand different stories because we are still living a different reality.